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Can Your Spouse Handle The Money When You’re Dead?

Posted on June 15th, 2016

Do you think you can manage your money from the grave? What will your spouse do with your money when you’re gone?

In the financial workshops I teach, I tell the story of a man who lived his life VERY frugally—some would say he was just plain stingy! One day God took him home. About two weeks later, I saw his wife and noticed that she was wearing a HUGE diamond ring. I told her I was surprised she bought such a huge ring right after her husband died—especially knowing how he hated to spend money. She responded by telling me that it was actually her HUSBAND’s idea for her to buy the diamond. I was shocked, to put it mildly! She said, “No, really, it was his idea. Right before he died, he told me to buy a cheap casket, have an inexpensive funeral, but buy a LARGE stone!” I doubt that the diamond was what he had in mind, but perhaps, he should have been a little more specific.

Of course, this didn’t actually happen, but something very similar happened with a widow I met with recently. Her husband had written some instructions for her, with one of the suggestions being that she contact me to help her with her investment and financial planning decisions. She fulfilled his wish by meeting with me, but she had already decided what she wanted to do with her money long before we met. She had decided to take the majority of the funds and pay off her kids’ mortgages and school loans. Fortunately, she was going to have liens put on the properties and take-back notes so the kids would pay her back at 3%.

My guess is that this is NOT what her husband had in mind when he suggested that she call us for help. He was obviously concerned that she may not handle the money in such a way that would be sure it was there for HER benefit. The obvious problems are (1) there is no liquidity, so if she has an emergency, those funds will not be available and (2) the bigger potential problem is that if the children run into financial difficulty, she will not foreclose on the property if they don’t make the payments. I hope this works out the best for her and her family, but it is fraught with potential danger—especially for someone as young as she is.

I have run into many people over the years who have told me that if something ever happened to them, they have told their spouse to contact me. I always encourage them to, at a minimum, make an appointment to visit with me and my team to see if we really are a good fit. It is also a great time to communicate with your spouse how you would like the funds to be invested, and disbursed, after you pass on.

I strongly encourage you to communicate with your spouse as to how you are currently managing your money and, just as importantly, what they should do after you are gone. If there is a firm you would like for your spouse to work with, please visit with them NOW. You and/or your spouse may discover that a different plan/firm would have been better for your spouse. That is not the kind of surprise your spouse wants to have!


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    Though Mike Miller is an employee of Ronald Blue Trust, Talking Money® represents his individual views, and not those of his employer or any other sponsor of the program. During the program, Mike may discuss market trends as well as specific financial planning techniques and investment ideas. These discussions are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations to any individual or organization. Work with your attorney, or accounting, or investment professional for specific individual advice and services. Any securities or investment products discussed on Talking Money® are not insured by the FDIC, are not a deposit or other obligation of or guaranteed by any bank, and are subject to investment risk, including possible loss of principal amount invested.